I believe in Father Christmas

and I look to the sky with excited eyes

On Friday, I’ll go to my parents’s house to stay for the rest of the year. The regular Christmas Day stuff with my brothers and their partners isn’t safe right now, but my parents and I can make a tiny holiday bubble for a few weeks so we can at least hold onto a bit of the magic.

I’ve had more questions about Santa Claus from my students this year than I ever have before. Not one to destroy anyone’s magic, last week, I told my class how I still hang up my stocking and how I still put out cookies and milk, even carrots!, on Christmas Eve (and I do; but not every year). Today, an 11-year-old student told me—with the biggest grin—about how they wrote a letter to Santa AND a letter for their dog with the dog’s wish list. That’s why I tell kids Santa is real.

My plan is to continue doing the dishes every day (my parents have a dishwasher!), bake our family favourites (butter tarts, shortbread, Muddy Buddies), try out this egg brûlée, read the two books I’m bringing with me, re-learn how to crochet, start the giant Santa cross-stitch my grandma gave me years ago, listen to Robbie Williams’s Christmas album on repeat, write Morning Pages every day, finish one more zine before the end of the year, sleep, and eat.

My plan is to delete Slack and Instagram from my phone, to stop reading the news on Twitter, to go quiet for a little while. Not forever, but for the rest of the year. There are a lot of things I plan to leave behind in 2020. I can’t carry it all anymore.

My shop, All Day Breakfast, will go on hiatus on Friday; the logistics of shipping are too hard at another house. (But the good news is that we intend to be back at the farmers market in May!) All the digital and printable PDFs of my zines are on itch.io—prices are set to pay-what-you-want. I just published CT05, my zine about making zines.

My mailing address is at the bottom of this email (if you’re reading this letter on the web, just ask!). In the new year, I’d like to write more letters and fewer blog posts. I want to try a different kind of mailing list. After 2020, when all the good and all the bad came to me through my iPhone screen, I need a break.

💗 Jess


👋 I’m Jessica Driscoll (she/they), a writer / teacher / baker, depending on the season. I live and work on the unceded territory of the SEMYOME (Semiahmoo) Nation, in a beach town on the International Boundary. As a white settler, I’m committed to unsettling Turtle Island.

Content warning: death, police violence, guns

Please read this thread about the targeting of Black activists in Louisville, Kentucky—a pattern witnessed after the Ferguson, Missouri uprising. It’s been 7 months since the murder of George Floyd, and already the people who spoke out against police violence in the summer have gone quiet. If you’re white in North America, you cannot be silent about anti-Black and anti-Indigenous violence.